When I was a young child, I went to a Catholic Church almost every Sunday. Partly because I had to and partly because I looked forward to the fruit plate or sweet Mexican fried tortilla my grandmother would buy me after Mass. I did enjoy this regular outing with her because I got to have one-on-one time with my Grandma. I also knew that good Catholics went to church every Sunday and I wanted to be a good Catholic. The Mass was always in Spanish and although I did know “some” Spanish, most of the Sunday service was “just words” and “rituals.” With my weekly visits, I started to memorize the service and began to know when it was time to stand, when to kneel, and when to sit. I also knew when it was almost over and I would then go outside and get my fruit plate from the Mexican vendor outside. Although I will forever treasure those weekly outings with my grandmother, as I fast forward to my adult life, I now understand that regular worship is much more than memorizing a service of words and rituals, and waiting for it to be over so I could get to that fruit plate.
Although I did attend Catholic Mass in the Bay Area when I moved here in 1994, it was usually a Christmas or Easter service. Life always felt too busy to go. Having children increased my attendance a bit, but I still felt no connection. It wasn’t until I found St. James’ that I finally felt truly connected to a church for the first time in my life. St. James’ feels like MY church, MY home. Every single time I walk in the church doors, I feel a welcoming peace within my heart. My mind feels present and ready to hear the message. Sitting in the pews I find myself among many friends, some new and some old. I feel a part of something. Throughout the service I receive the understanding and healing I need to carry me through the week. I feel my heart fill with strength and goodness to share with others. In the outside day to day world we are sometimes faced with situations that challenge our faith. We ask ourselves why God would let these things happen. I don’t know how I would handle those times without the weekly blessing I receive on Sundays. Regular worship is important to me because hearing the word of God gives me life. It makes me happy, it makes me feel better, and it gives me hope. As a school teacher, and as a mom, I need to be a positive guiding force for our youth. My regular worship brings positivity into my soul and sends me out share it with the world. I am better because of St. James’ and I am thankful for it.
Regular worship is indeed different than when I was a kid. I now understand the words that are spoken and the meaning behind the rituals. And although my Grandma is no longer here to sit beside me, I know her spirit is there smiling upon me. And as for the fruit plate I used to look forward to after church…that is now replaced by a meal shared with my partner and my kids. A meal filled with laughter, and goodness, and hearts full of positivity to share with the world.
~ Monique Manjarrez