There’s a parable that’s been going around the internet for a year or so, but you may have recognized in different guises for many years. I’ve paraphrased it a little, and it goes something like this…
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two mugs of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions – and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else – the small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.
Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a coffee with a friend.
It’s a cute story, but I wonder how it relates to us? The professor doesn’t mention anything about religion, church or faith in his story, neither does he refer to community beyond immediate friends and family. When thinking about this story, I struggled quite a bit with deciding where I’d put my faith, spiritual discipline and other “churchly things” in the jar. My faith & relationship with God is definitely one of those golf balls, but what about things like reading the bible regularly, thoughtful prayer, welcoming and encouraging newcomers, service to the community, intentional giving, helping to run the youth group, attending committee meetings, or even fixing problems with the network* at church? (*insert your own talent here!) It’s easy to see how we sometimes can get bogged down with the little things only to lose focus on the bigger, more important things.
It’s a fun exercise to see how your own situation might relate to this story, but a bigger challenge would be to think about how we, the faith community of St. James’, might place what’s important to us in the jar. Where would we put our worship, liturgy, song, buildings & grounds, children’s work, outreach, stewardship, spiritual growth, welcoming, social events, the web site & The Window, … Our list is long, and I’ve only scratched the surface here.
The professor’s parable is reflected in the story from St. Luke’s gospel (Luke 10:38-42), when Jesus goes to visit Mary and Martha and while Mary sits at Jesus’ feet to listen and talk with him, Martha was “distracted by her many tasks”. When Martha complains that Mary isn’t helping, Jesus puts her straight: “you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
At the Vestry Retreat at the start of this year, we adopted a core question which might help guide our thoughts and deliberations as a vestry: “How do we make God present in our church, our families, our neighborhood, our town, our world?” I’m excited by the energy, passion and commitment we have at St. James’ to serve, and to strive to make things better. It’s a real challenge to make sure we’re focusing on the important things.
However we answer these challenging questions, two things are certain to me. Firstly, whether the mayonnaise jar is a metaphor for our lives, or our church – it was made by God. We are duty bound to fill it in a way that glorifies God, and reflects the trust God puts in us. Secondly, there’s always room for a cup of coffee. See you at coffee hour!
Mike Scrutton, Junior Warden
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